I suppose that throughout my 17 years of existence, I’ve never really cared about my appearance; I didn’t care how I looked, how I dressed or anything.
In recent years however, if I’m not wrong, in the past two years, I’ve become increasingly aware of my body, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a body I’m not comfortable with.
I have thunder thighs, bestowed upon me by my darling mum, plus I have stomach flab, whose credit goes entirely to me, a result of years of eating whatever I want whenever I want. I also have the onset of what looks like a double chin.
People might say, hey, doesn’t everybody have that? My answer to them would be that I don’t care about that. I can physically feel the fat on my stomach and neck when I move, and it feels disgusting. Furthermore, I have issues with my braces and teeth, so that makes me, on the whole, a person who is very unhappy about herself.
Now, I come from a doctor’s family, and I have a certain ideas about the ideal weight that people should have at certain ages, particularly those that stem from the idea of BMI (body mass index). While I do believe that obese people should not lose their confidence for their weight, I am off the belief that obese people definitely need to loose weight, because it just isn’t healthy.
And I’m close to being borderline obese. Well, at the rate I’m going, I’m probably gonna reach that line very soon.
I’m 149cm tall, and I weigh 47 kilograms. Two years ago, I used to be 149 cm and 42 kilograms. That’s quite alarming to me, because if I reach 50 kgs, I will be obese for my height. What is even more alarming is that since I’ve already reached puberty, and am nearly at the end of it, and am clearly not going to grow any more taller, which means that the only way I will grow “bigger” is by gaining weight, which is something that is happening. And I don’t want it to happen.
Sigh. I am not happy.
Heh, well I haven’t posted anything on this blog for a while, and I suppose it’s because I didn’t have anything that particularly motivated me to write anything.
But considering the fact that I’m writing something today… Well.
So this month has been a normally hectic one, I guess. Firstly I turned 17, secondly I started my college applications - so for most part I’ve finished filling in the common app and the UCAS formalities, which are always annoying. Still have to complete my portfolio, but meh :/
Then of course I had a million assignments to finish, a physics test for my predicted grades and now I have to finish my college essays as well. Plus, my class is organising an MUN, and I’m largely in charge of stuff with my best friend. And today, was the annual school carnival prep for tomorrow. I hate that I have to go to school on a Saturday ugh.
And that’s about it, for the major events that have happened in the past one month. Now on to more personal crap.
I really really hate it when my mom wakes me up, because she always accompanies it with a nagging statement “You’re an IB student and what do IB students do? They definitely don’t sleep late”….
And the worst part is that it’s the holidays, and it’s not like I wake up at 12 noon even… It’s only 9.30…
(If you haven’t guessed, I’m in the last leg of 11th Grade)